Because the concept of God came from thousands of years of superstition and religions, and thousands of gods, the idea of God outside of religion is a concept mainly understood by a few that recognize there is something in life greater and somehow filled with love and goodness.

The god of the Bible or Quran offer the idea of a deity that creates, but also rules in a way that the idea suddenly changes to that of human in kind and language, and a thing that becomes a psychopath as a means to explain things that happen in life.

A volcano can erupt and people with superstitious ideas of God will say that God is punishing them. Earthquakes and other natural phenomena occurs and many people even today will say that God is doing something to punish someone.

I had a number of experiences in my life and not a single one had to do with a show of anger, but only love. I grew up believing God was a punisher of evil. I needed to accept this as even when a tornado would kill people, I would question when children were killed. Surely, somehow even the child was evil. (A justification for God’s behavior needed to exist).

When I was separated from my wife, I was very angry with her. Blamed everything that brought me to this point in life on her. One day while driving down the road I cried in anger to God and asked him to change my wife’s mind, can’t you see God what she is doing? But even though I could not conceive any other option, all I sensed was God standing with his arm around Mary and saying, Steve, I love Mary. This at first felt like God was standing against me, but then I also knew he loved me also in the same way.

When I was going to group, I was angry with Roger our leader. I felt like he was not being reasonable about handling our marriage situation. For six months I tried to fight with words and reasons as to why this and that was wrong, and it was Mary’s fault, etc.

But slowly I softened and my mind began to open to what was happening. And the only way to describe it was that Roger was loving on me and holding me in kindness the whole time. In a way I recognized that Roger was more like God in that he only reacted in love to every rebellious act I sent his way.

It would be my father who showed me a god of punishment and revenge which left me always questioning God. But it was Roger that showed me something about loving no matter what that gave me a glimpse of a God that made perfect sense to me.

For years after that, and coming back home, that the god of the bible and the God I had come to know were two very different things. The god of the bible and the one I grew up to know was something that was constantly defined and justified by its followers for what I can only see as a psychopath because he changes his mind from killing whole nations to offering forgiveness and mercy, but then back to punishment to an eternal hell for not believing on him.

The God I have come to know cannot be defined in human terms other than there is a flow of love that exists like gravity pulling us to it’s center over the opposite in life pulling us away. I liken this to both love as kindness and judgement at the same time. Life offers times of peace and joy (a kindness) and other times pain and suffering (a judgment for lack of better words), but all is of love flowing toward and through us.

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.” Even Peter recognizes this flow of love in life that is greater when we “repay evil with blessing”. He did not need to read it somewhere, it was written on his heart.

This position says I will even die vs repaying evil with evil. Meaning, the love that flows is so important that it should never be justified away in light of avoiding suffering or death. Death then suddenly becomes something easily let go of knowing something greater than death is moving and flowing within life.

This is completely contrary to the god of the old testament, and even the ideas the church created about the new testament with the idea of hell for those to be punished for not believing in Jesus. In fact you can begin to completely understand the total ludicrous ideas of this teaching.

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